To understand why you think the way you do and make the decisions you do, you need to know the Four Human Survival Needs.
These four Survival Needs affect our thinking and decision making. If you understand these four needs, you will understand why you make the decisions you do. Sometimes, our decisions are just stupid and we end up with poor outcomes. These 4 needs can and does affect all your decisions. But that is not all. Apart from these needs, our minds filter all our decisions through life. Every person sees life different and makes decisions based thereupon. See how these affect you and others. Understand why everyone around you think and act the way they do…
The need to be unique and be seen for who you are. You need to feel that your life has a purpose and meaning, and you are on this earth for a reason. You need to feel important and needed.
Apart from the need to feel significant, you need challenge and excitement. You need surprise and diversity, or you will fall into a trap of boredom, which in turn, may lead to depression. Off course, one will find this by living on the edge and goes skydiving on weekends, while another may find it exciting to shop at a different mall.
You also need to feel secure. This includes financial stability.
Love / Connection:
This is simplified by the need to belong. You want to feel loved and wanted by someone. This is the main reason why people join all kinds of clubs, etc.
All our decisions are based on any one or more of these four above. Our minds are designed to grow. If they don’t, they become stagnant. When this happens, boredom steps in and our minds begin to wonder. When you were created, you were created with a need for love and acceptance. Unfortunately, there are very few people who are totally content with the love they get. This is mainly because we got hurt somewhere in your past. This hurt can be anything but will mainly be due to words or deeds by the people you trusted most. Maybe you lost faith in mankind in general because of the hurt you have endured. You see, every action or every word leaves a trace. Some actions or words have deep scars that last a lifetime.
So, you are afraid of commitment of afraid to trust again, but the need to belong remains. Hence, you join the local bowling club, or the bikers club, or just hang out at the local pub, because there someone listens. They say the bar tender is the most qualified job ever, because he is a barman, marriage counselor, architect, lawyer, psychologist, etc. Everyone tells him everything and expects a solution. Is this you? The guy who tells the barman everything about you?
You work yourself to complete slavery at work and then someone else steels the glory for your hard work!
You are a working mum. Jumping out of bed before dawn. Sorting out the kids and hubby to prepare them for the day. Make sure all get out of bed, with breakfast off course! The make sure all have brushed their teeth, have clean clothes, wipe the toothpaste stain off the school shirt, and on and on and on it goes…
“MUM! Have you seen my….”
“Honey! Have you seen my…”
Sometimes the husband is worse than the kids!
I doubt it! Everyone wants a piece of you and just take you for granted. As a mum and dad, you do everything in your power (all legal, off course) to provide everything your children need.
Yes, we as parents make mistakes, but we try our best to teach our children manners, values, respect, endurance, backbone, etc.
Feeling wanted and appreciated?
I do have an answer, but it might not be YOUR answer.
The excitement discussion tends to be more exciting! The problem is, no great stunt ever came after the words: “Hold my salad and watch this!” Neither did most serious injuries due to stupidity!
“Hold my beer…”
Do you think that drunkenness brings out the hidden 4 Survival Needs? Just think about…
The drunk person goes through some steps: bravery, violence, sadness / depression, …
All in a few hours or less.
Could alcohol or drugs spike the 4 Survival Needs? Bravery would fall under excitement, violence (picking a fight) under significance and sadness under love and connection.
Apart from the drunk part, I believe that every decision we make is mainly inspired by these 4. Every decision we make can be categorized. Want to start a new business? What categories would you class it under?
Significance? The need to be recognized?
Uncertainty? The challenge?
But, apart from this, our final decisions are screened through mental filters of reasoning. We will discuss this in the next post.
For now, think about the above and reflect on yourself. See if you can categorize the decisions you make…